As John recovers from the election, here is a column that ran in 2016. How the world has, and hasn’t, changed:
In these uncertain times, we need the wisdom of proverbs more than ever. For example:
- The pen is mightier than the sword, but they’re both pretty sharp.
- When the going gets tough, it’s time to take a nap.
- You can’t judge a book by its cover but it does account for 20 percent of sales.
- No man is an island, not even those people living south of Roosevelt.
- A watched pot never boils — well, actually it does.
- If it ain’t broke, let me try to fix it.
- One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, especially in the alleys of Forest Park.
- If you want something done right, make sure the contractor gets a permit.
- Absence makes the heart grow fonder; so does absinthe.
- As Ogden Nash said, “A penny saved is impossible.”
- People who live in glass houses must be freezing.
- Better late than never will not get you out of trouble with your spouse.
- A picture is worth a thousand words but no one prints pictures anymore.
- If necessity is the mother of invention, who’s the father?
- Good things come to those who wait but how many lotto tickets is this guy going to buy?
- Don’t count your chickens in one basket, or something like that.
- If you can’t beat ’em, join a health club.
- Cleanliness is next to dog food in Aisle 4.
- Easy come, easy go. I just don’t get the “easy come” part.
- Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, or anyone’s hand for that matter.
- Too many cooks — use too much salt.
- A bird in hand is disgusting.
- There’s no place like home, but I’m sure there are houses with better carpeting.
- Never look a horse in the mouth, period.
- Beggars can’t be choosers, but they need to come up with better stories.
- God helps those who help set up folding chairs.
- There’s no such thing as a free lunch, which is why we have dollar menus.
- The squeaky wheel also turns sideways when you’re trying to push the cart.
- Hope for the steak, but prepare for the wurst.
- Don’t keep your friends close — or anyone else for that matter.
- Actions speak louder than words, especially when you’re using a leaf blower.
- There’s no time like the present to put off painting the porch.
- Beauty is in the eye of people who obviously don’t own a mirror.
- Two heads are better than one, but only if they’re both wearing masks.
- The grass is always greener at marijuana dispensaries.
- Desperate deadlines call for desperate columns.
